Charlotte sat down, flipping over the coffee shop’s copy of The Irish People and skimming through a snippet in The Squire.
Style crimes. The Squire will fight them on the beaches, in the streets, in the shopping centres. He will never surrender.
Most of the perpetrators are sportspeople. I’m launching a crusade to name the shame the football chavs.
It’s time footballers banned all clothing associated with hip hop culture. Jewellery, baggy shorts, throwback jerseys, headphones, indoor sunglasses – all look ridiculous on players.
Or indeed on anyone over the age of seventeen.
Charlotte shook her head. The man was an idiot. Helen turned to the new waitress.
            ‘Julie, table four please.’ She loaded up the tray and then gave Charlotte her full attention.
            ‘So, did you not enjoy the date?’
Charlotte sighed.
            ‘Oh Helen, don’t get me wrong, he’s the perfect gentleman. You know, thoughtful and entertaining and completely relaxed with everyone. It was like Grand Central Station during the interval, but he also knew the director so we were invited back to the Green Room after the show. And I was completely out of my depth.
Helen sipped her coffee.
            ‘You’re a big girl. Stop looking for problems. Was he flirting with other women?’
            ‘Other way around: they were flirting for Ireland. But some were definitely ex-girlfriends!’ She groaned. ‘I think the worst moment of the night, was when one of them asked me what was the last play I saw?’
            ‘What?’
            ‘You remember last Christmas when I took Anna and Daniel to Jack and the Beanstalk!’
Helen’s eyes lit up.
            ‘Did you tell her that?’
            ‘I figured, what the hell, be truthful.’
Helen giggled.
            ‘You know what it reminds me of? That scene from Pretty Woman, where Richard Gere brings Julia Roberts to the opera and the old lady asks her if she enjoyed it, and Julia Roberts says, ‘It was so good I almost peed my pants…’  Helen stopped as she caught the expression on Charlotte’s face. ‘Probably not the best example.’
            ‘Probably not,’ Charlotte agreed, then ruined the effect when she giggled too.